Life Lessons This Year

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Namaste!

Hello, third quater of 2017! Just like that, 2017 is almost over. I really wasn’t readyy.

For me, this year has been packed with lessons: Nothing spectacular if I’m being honest but these are everyday things that somehow became very glaring to me during the course of the year. One thing is for sure, I have come to learn many things and above all ‘trust my process’ this year.

In today’s post, I would be sharing a number of lessons that I have picked up this year. Enjoy.

1. Find your tribe

Having that person or people that don’t have a choice but to love and support you is really nice (lol).  Seriously speaking, it doesn’t have to be your biological family it could be friends or a community of people that you know would always be there for you irrespective of circumstances. The point is: Find your tribe and hold them close.

While it is important to hold your tribe close, also remember not to force relationships. The end of a friendship is not necessarily a bad thing – we need to recognise that people come into our lives for different reasons and be willing to let them go when the time is right.

2. Love is more than a feeling; it’s a choice

Now, you know this thing they call ‘love’, it is not a feeling. I mean, really really. We all say it but have we truly thought about it? Feelings truly come and go – most of us have come to learn and experience this for a fact.

You know this ‘over the moon’ feeling that you feel for that guy or lady in your life? Believe me, it can pass away in seconds like it never happened. This is a rather scary thought and it really reinforces the fact that it is necessary to develop other aspects of our relationships.

3. Enjoy the moment

You know how most times we are either thinking of how things could have gone in the past or looking forward to something in particular in the future? Have you noticed that most times we don’t live in the present – I mean soak up the present. Few years ago, I realised that I couldn’t really remember how I spent a certain period of my life. Now this wasn’t because it wasn’t worth remembering but because I was very engrossed in how things were going to work out and thinking of how I could have done things differently.

No matter what you’re going through, look at the bright side and appreciate the little things – no matter how trivial they may seem to you.

Live. This is life, we’re living it already. This is no rehearsal.

4. Humility

Oh yea, that thing about “stooping to conquer’, turns out to be true. A point comes when you may have to bow your head to raise it higher at a much later time. This might mean taking a lower paying job or being involved in activities that you might consider as being beneath your pedigree, class or whatever.

If it’s going to help you in the future, chance are that it’s worth going through it no matter how gruelling the experience is.

5. Eyes on the Prize

I learnt to trust my process and fix my eyes on my own lane. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong in getting inspiration from people however,  we have to realise that we each have our different timings and seasons. A delay in getting that job may just be an opportunity for you to develop certain skills or knowledge that you need in the workplace. Who knows, it may even be that push for you to discover your entrepreneurial or creative side.

6. Let go of Prejudice

‘X people are this way’, ‘Y people are that way’. Believe me fam, stuff like that just closes your mind to fully experiencing life and people. Let go of pre-conceived notions and just let it flow. In my opinion, we’ll always find what we look out for…if you think that a person would be a certain way because of their race, tribe, religious affiliations etc., chances are that you would find those traits in them. Not because they are that way, but because you have already set out to find those things in them.

I hope this was a good read….till the next post. Kisses!

 

Peace. Joy. Love

Mercie xx

 

 

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2 – Minute Review ||  Movie ||Sleepless (2017)

Hey guys,

It looks like this movie review blog series is making me watch a lot more movies than I typically do. Now, this review is on a movie that I watched sometime in May. To be honest, I watched it because there was nothing else showing at the close of work, when I went to the cinema. I had a good time seeing it and I am glad I stayed to watch it.

DirectorBaran bo Odar

Key Actors: Jamie Foxx, Michelle Monaghan,  Dermot Mulroney, T.I, Gabrielle Union and Octavius Johnson.

Plot: Two cops, Vincent Downs (Jamie Foxx) and Sean Cass (T.I), associated with criminal activities, rob a shipment of hard drugs belonging to entrepreneur Stanley Rubino. As a result of this, Vincent’s son (Octavius Johnson) is kidnapped and held hostage in a nightclub and Vincent is tasked with setting his son free.

Any Major twist(s)?: Yes, however they weren’t totally unpredictable.

My thoughts: Action packed and was a really good watch. T.I’s acting was quite poor in my opinion but the others held their own. Of course, Jamie Foxx looked good in a police uniform lol.

Thumbs up or down?: Thumbs up

Would I rewatch?: Nah

Recommended for?: Home watching

See Trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grqVFoJ3jJg

IMDB Rating: 5.5/10

 

Have you watched ‘Sleepless’? What did you think?

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

 

 

 

2 – Minute Review ||  Movie ||Hidden Figures (2016)

Hi guys,

Today’s movie would be on a movie that’s not so new, it just took me a little while getting to it.

Director: Theodore Melfi

Key Actors:  Kevin Costner, Jim Parsons, Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monáe.

Plot: ‘Hidden Figures’ is adapted from Margot Lee Shetterly’s book Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race. It tells the story of three unsung heroes, of African American descent, in NASA who crunched the numbers for NASA and made it possible for the first space expedition by the U.S. The fact that this happened at a time when racial prejudice was at its prime, made it an interesting watch to see how they were able to achieve their dreams despite of all the challenges.

Major twist(s): To me, the fact that there were African Americans in NASA was a big surprise mainly because i’d never heard of them.

My thoughts: Very good watch. Quite inspiring. As a female engineer myself, I found myself feeling proud at certain points.

Thumbs up or down?: Thumbs up

Would I rewatch?: Oh yea

Recommended for?: Home watching

See Trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wfrDhgUMGI

IMDB Rating: 7.8/10

 

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

 

 

 

FrankTalk || When You Jump In ‘Feelings First’

We have all been there – we meet someone and develop feelings, even before we look at them closely to decipher if we would make a good fit. We first develop feelings before looking closer to check that the person would make a suitable mate (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife). That’s jumping in ‘feelings first’.

We feel all mushy and pleasantly surprised at the chemistry, or passion that we experience with the person and maybe even think ‘this is it, it has to be!’ These feelings make us jump into relationships a bit too soon – sooner than it would have been if we had been more rational and before finding out if this new person would even make a suitable friend. The truth is, many relationships start this way as most people don’t take the time to get to know each other before starting something serious.

But, really, what’s wrong in doing so?

This strong initial feelings of strong attraction toward another person might not be a reliable indicator of whether you are in love and shouldn’t be taken as such. Some may call that feeling ‘lust’ or ‘infatuation’.

In my opinion, its unhealthy mainly because by doing so, we invest our emotions, time, mind and maybe even bodies, into something that may or may not be worth our time. If things work out, all well and good. However, if they don’t, we have to painstakingly withdraw all our investment from this broken relationship – herein lies the problem. Imagine we have to do this with every relationship we get into, can you imagine how drained we’ll be after two, three, four, five (or more) relationships?

The fact that he or she likes something about you (or maybe truly likes you) does not mean that you need to start a relationship hurriedly. After all, the best relationships usually progress from good friendships.

So, before you decide to get into a relationship, take some time to know the person – can you actually be friends with this person? Do they possess the qualities that you want in a partner and vice versa. When the initial rush of emotions wear off, ‘real life’ hits, and it’s no longer about lunch dates, candle light dinners and trips, do you think that your relationship would stand a chance?

So, in summary, before making the plunge;

  1. Try as much as possible to keep feelings in check and determine if he/she is a suitable person for you to be with.
  2. If suitable, invest feelings and all you want to invest. If unsuitable, remove the possibility of a romantic relationship. Continue as friends if you want but take care not to mix things up.

This post may come across as being too serious or analytical about a thing as beautiful as love. Yes, life itself is risky and there’s no way of telling whether our decisions are right or wrong, until they have been made. Despite this uncertainty, I still think we owe it to ourselves to make our decisions as rationally as possible to prevent emotional hurt.

”Guard your heart, for out of it comes the issues of life”

 – Proverbs 4:23

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

2 – Minute Review ||  Movie ||Get Out (2017)

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Hi guys,

So I decided to start a review series but unlike other reviews, it would be pretty straight to the point and should not take too much time to gloss over. If you’re like me, long reviews can be a bit to tedious and run the risk of giving out numerous spoilers.

The plan is to make this a regular thing and also include other entertainment categories like books, music (anything really). I hope you like this series.

Let me know your thoughts and suggestions on this latest addition to Merciesphere. In the meantime, enjoy our first movie review post!

Director: Jordan Peele

Key Actors:  Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Lil Rel Howery, Bradley Whitford and Caleb Landry Jones.

Plot:  Chris, An African American photographer and his white girlfriend, Rose, take a weekend trip to meet Rose’s family. Upon arrival, Chris observes that there aren’t many African American people around and the few (3) that he had seen exhibited very strange behaviours.

Major twist(s): The reason for their odd behaviours is totally unexpected.

My thoughts: Great watch. At certain points, I found myself shouting at the TV and running around my living room.

Thumbs up or down?: Thumbs up

Would I rewatch?: Oh yea

Recommended for?: Cinema viewing

See Trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRfnevzM9kQ

IMDB Rating: 8/10

 

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

 

 

 

My Visit to LaCampagne Tropicana Beach Resort

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Hey!

Today’s post is long overdue. It’s on my daycation at Lacampagne Tropicana Beach Resort and I’m super glad to finally write about it. The beach resort is located in Ikegun, Ibeju-Lekki Local Govt. Area off Lekki/Epe Expressway, Lagos State, Nigeria and according to their website, they are Africa’s most visited beach resort.

Visitors to the resort can choose to spend a day however, they can also opt to stay for one or more nights. The resort has a number of chalets of varying prices (from NGN 50 000 to NGN 250 000). There are a number of swimming pools at the resort open to visitors and guests to indulge in.

So, back to my daycation (lol). Earlier this year, I went to the resort to spend a day and get away from the ‘Lagos hustle’. The resort, on a regular day is serene however my visit there was on a weekday so it was super serene.

Getting there: The resort is located quite some distance from the city so I decided to take a taxi instead of driving there. Plus it was supposed to be a relaxing day for me, so I thought to myself that it was best to be chauffeured. The entire trip, from my house, took about three hours and the resort wasn’t difficult to locate.

At the Resort: Upon arrival at the reception, I was greeted in the local language and told to respond by tapping the greeter’s hands. I paid for a day’s visit and that cost NGN 3 000. Being in a society which is supposed to be ‘cashless’, I decided to pay with my card but for some reason, the POS terminals refused to work. The next option was to do a bank transfer to their account but this was also difficult considering that my network provider’s 3G coverage at the resort wasn’t up to par. I finally paid by calling a friend of mine (who was in a meeting at her workplace!) to transfer money into their account. That sorted, I was good to go!

Payments sorted, it was time to explore what the resort had to offer. Unfortunately, my battery was a bit low and so I couldn’t take as many pictures as I would have loved to – hopefully, I get to revisit the resort soon and put out an updated review. In the meantime, you can check out their website (see resort details at the end of the post) for some more pictures.

Enough use of words, without much ado, please enjoy pictures from my daycation!

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The resort entrance / reception area
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Price list for food/services
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Price list for overnight guests
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Resort Contact details:

Address:       Ikegun, Ibeju-Lekki Local Govt. Area, off Lekki / Epe Expressway, Lagos, 
Tel:                +234 0805 222 5226, +234 0708 529 2796, +234 0708 774 7901
email:            info@lacampagneng.com

website:        http://lacampagnetropicana.com

Have you been to Lacampagne Tropicana Beach Resort? Please share your experience!

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Your Love Language?

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… cos falling in love is easy. Staying in love, is the hard part.

Hey, hi!

Have you ever thought that your partner is not loving or just doesn’t appreciate your show of love? Yes, we have all been there. You try the best way you can to show that you love your partner but they don’t seem to acknowledge or appreciate it. It can also be that you don’t feel that you are loved by your partner because he doesn’t seem to show it.

Well, if either is your case, fear not! The thing is that we are all different and so we show love in different ways. So, what screams ‘love’ to you might go unnoticed to me. Scary stuff, yea? Nah, you have nothing to fear. According to Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, there are five primary ways that people show and prefer to receive love. Knowing your partner’s love language(s), and acting on them is a step towards ensuring that your show of love is not missed and that you are not quick to conclude that your relationship is a loveless one.

Lets get into each love language now, shall we?

1. Words of Affirmation – These are words and statements that build your partner up and makes them feel appreciated. For some people, this is all you need to do to make them feel loved. Now, this is not referring to empty flattery but rather, picking up on the good things that he or she has done or said, complimenting them on such actions and letting them know that you appreciate these things.

2. Acts of Service – These are helpful acts, which your spouse would appreciate, that are carried out as an expression of love and devotion. This could include acts like helping with the dishes, cooking a meal, changing car tyres or even taking out the trash. For people who speak this love language, the things that you do for them are worth more than things that might typically speak ‘love’ to others. To them, actions really speak louder than words.

3. Physical Touch – While sexual intercourse is one of the dialects of this particular love language, those who speak this language appreciate the emotional closeness achieved by mere physical touch. Ways of expressing love by physical touch.include cuddling, holding hands, pecks, embracing, back rubs, tender and spontaneous stroking of the face or other body parts.

4. Quality Time – This is giving the other person your undivided attention. With a partner who appreciates this, you have to spend time doing things that promote togetherness. A key part of this is undivided attention and being engaged in things that involve both of you – as such things greatly help to strengthen the bond between couples.

5. Gift giving – Who doesn’t like gifts? We all do. But for these ones, i.e those who speak this language, it is not solely about the item but the thought that goes into the act. Receiving gifts make them feel special and further implies to them that they are loved. It could be buying a key holder that reminds them of a special period of time and/or place that you both experienced to buying a house for them – all that matters is the motive. For these people, when you get gifts for them, do well to communicate the thought behind the gift(s) to them.

Which of these languages apply to you? Do share your thoughts.

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#FrankTalk: On Exclusivity

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Hi lovelies!

I’m back with another Frank Talk. I started this series as an avenue to write about topics that we hardly talk about. For the most part, these topics are usually not discussed for fear of being judged by others especially by the people with whom we would like to explore relationships with.

So, what is ‘exclusivity’ within the context of a relationship?

Exclusivity is when people in a relationship agree to put their energy, time and effort in only that relationship.

In other words, neither party has a ‘plan b’ or a ‘back up relationship’. Rather, they forsake all others for one particular person. Is this too much to aspire to? I had a couple of conversations with people regarding this and one response took me by surprise. To be honest, that gave me the idea for this post. So, I tried to explain my thoughts on the topic with a view to getting a different viewpoint and my friend said, ‘Technically, isn’t everyone in an open relationship?’ Say what?? When was this memo sent out? I did not receive it! Is this what has been the norm?

I have always taken ‘exclusivity’ in relationships as a given – almost automatic, if you will. Whether it is discussed and agreed upon or not, I always thought it was default. If Charles and Kate are dating (by dating, I mean that they are in a committed romantic relationship), doesn’t it mean that they no longer pursue relationships (however subtle) with all other ladies or gentlemen out there? Is this just me being naive or old school?

Please follow me while I try to sort out my thoughts in this piece…I’ll get to the point, I promise.

Personally I think there are two approaches to exclusivity. In as much as there is no ‘correct’ approach, what matters is communication and agreement so that both people in the relationship can be on the same page.

Approach 1: Being in a relationship with one person but leaving room to date or ‘see’ others. With this, either party can choose to leave their relationship at any point for another prospective one. Since all communication lines have been open with the ‘prospectives’, the new relationship is simply a continuation from where they left off.

vs.

Approach 2: Being totally committed and not leaving room for other possibilities. Here, each party follows through with one relationship till the end (marriage or breakup). In the case where the relationship ends in a breakup, both parties move on to other relationships but have to start the dating process all over again.

Taking a neutral stand and putting aside my preferences, there is no right or wrong approach but it is very important for both parties in the relationship to apply the same approach. What I mean is; if you dig approach 1, it’s best to pursue a relationship with someone who agrees with the same philosophy. It would be unfair for Miss A to apply approach 1 in a relationship with Mr B who is a firm advocate of approach 2.

That’s my 2 cents on the topic of exclusivity. Please share your thoughts on this, I would really like to know what you think. Thanks for reading, guys!

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx

 

 

Happy New Year || 2017!

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Happy New Year, everyone!

Just realised that I did not put out a ‘Happy New Year’ post. Better late than never, aye? Good thing we are are still in the first month of the year!

I hope 2017 has started really well for you and that you are a step closer to achieving your dreams and desires. If this isn’t the case, don’t worry too much about it, it is not too late to kick into action – keyword here is ‘action’. Remember that it is not enough to want and desire certain things, we have to put in the work.

This year, I plan to live intentionally and be truly present. I plan to live fully and soak up all my experiences. The idea is, provided it makes me happy, brings me peace, does not harm any one or conflict with my faith/belief, I’m doing it. I also plan to write more and capture my experiences and thoughts, with the hope that it inspires you positively.

Remember,

“You only get one life to live and it is actually your duty to live it to the fullest.”                                                                                                             – Unknown

Here’s wishing us a super year 2017. Cheers to intentional living and good experiences!

Peace. Joy. Love

Mercy xx

On Love and Marriage

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I’m not gonna lie, I have been thinking of love and marriage and what they entail. In my research I found a number of thought and insight into the matter. Growing up, love was romanticised using fairy tales: you meet Prince Charming and you ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after. If only it was so easy.

Growing up, I have come to realise that it is a very deep concept – much deeper that most realise so I find myself asking these questions:

  • What, really, is love?
  • Does it exist or is it oxytocin?
  • How is it that people who are in love today ‘fall out’ of it?
  • Is it possible to remain in love?
  • Is love enough basis to marry a person?
  • Is love enough to sustain a marriage?
  • Does love truly conquer all?

I wouldn’t say that I have found the answers to these questions but I can say that my sojourn into these areas exposed me to various viewpoints that has been really helpful. An example of which is the story which I would share, my hope is that it sheds more light into issue and helps in your choice of partners.

Enjoy..dots

A student asks a teacher, “What is Love?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the corn field, choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: You can go through them only once and not turn back to pick.” 

The student headed for the field, and went through the first row. He saw one big corn, but he wondered.. may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one.. but wondered if there may be an even bigger one waiting for him.

Afterwards, when he had completed more than half of the corn field, he started to realize that the corn growing around the area were not as big as the previous one he saw. He knew he missed the biggest one, and he regretted it. So, he went back to his teacher empty handed.

The teacher told him, “This is Love.. you keep looking for a better one, but you only realize it when you have already missed the person..”

“What is Marriage then?” the student asked.

The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go back to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”

The student went back to the corn field, and this time he was careful not to repeat the previous mistake. When he reached the middle of the field, he picked a corn that he felt satisfied with, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, “When picking the corn this time.. you looked for one that is just nice, that you had faith in and are satisfied with…. this is Marriage.”

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Upon reading this story, I wondered how many people were lucky or fortunate enough to pick a somewhat satisfactory corn that also happens to be the biggest in the corn field? Let’s assume we happen to pick the biggest and juiciest corn in the field, how many of us keep thinking of the bigger ones that we saw earlier on in our search or others that we did not get to check. The story reminds me of someone who had a pretty big corn but kept wondering if she was missing out on a bigger one…if only she had read this story.

Alright people, I hope this was a good read. Please share your thoughts on the topic and subscribe!

Peace. Love. Joy

Mercy xx